Letter to Thane
by Subaruchan192
Summary: Karin Shepard is writing a small letter to her beloved Thane. It's set in the middle of me3 and was a contribution for the Thane Fanbook on BSN


"Dear Thane..."

Shepard stopped, unsure of what she should write. There was so much left to say, so many words unspoken and so little time left. The war was escalating and it was hard for her to just take a breath. Reapers were going down everywhere, the world was going to collapse, but what really made the Commander stay awake at night was her worry about Thane, her Drell, her one and only. The only person who really knew what was going inside her mind.

"Is everything alright with you? I have not heard anything from you for a long time. I'm worried. I wish I could be there with you, to spend our last moments with you…" Oh, she sounded like a lovesick teenager, but Shepard had to admit to herself that she was lovesick. Every waking moment was consumed with thoughts of her Drell.

She threaded her fingers through her hair, like his always did. "I really miss you. Everything is getting worse and the politicians just sit and argue over ancient history! I don't know if I can handle it alone; I'm scared, that I won't. Everyone piles their problems on my shoulders, expecting me to fix everything, and it is just too much!"

She paused again. No. It was not going to be a long list of complaints about her problems. Shepard knew Thane was thinking about her all the time, about what she was going through. She did not want to worry him even more. He needed to stay calm or the stress would make his Kepral's worse.

Her chair turned to the large window and she looked upon the bright stars. It was hard handling all this strategizing, knowing that she might not see him again.

Shepard immediately pushed that thought out of her mind. It was too painful. Thane had helped her out of the dark hole she had been caged in after her disastrous reunion with Kaidan on Horizon. He had reached for her hand and pulled her back into the light. Shepard had never expected that. She had always thought that she wouldn't love again after Kaidan had broken her heart.

A sigh left her throat as she turned back to her computer. Why was it hard to write an email to her love without complaining about the whole situation? She knew the answer. It was because he turned her inside out. Thane always made her feel like she could tell him anything and he would never judge her. He had always been by her side, listening to her thoughts, offering advice, or just holding her. The Drell had been the first to look beyond her mask and now she was going to lose him, just when she had found the love of her life.

"Dr. Chackwas asked about you yesterday. She hopes you're doing well…" That sentence was deleted before she even finished it. The situation was too fragile and Shepard could not go on with such trivial matters. It was difficult to write down her feelings for Thane. They were too strong and too deep to be put in to mere words. She took a breath and started again.

"There is something that I've never told you, Thane. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You make me feel like I can do everything. Your support, your guidance means the world to me." Gosh, why was it so difficult? All these words did not even reach the surface of her feelings; they sounded empty to her ears. To finish this letter seemed to be a more difficult task than fighting an army of krogan.

Shepard leaned back and crossed her arms behind her head. No, to describe what Thane meant to her was impossible. Quickly she picked up the data pad and just wrote a simple "I've never told you that I love you from the bottom of my heart." But it seemed not enough for Thane, the man who had always fought by her side. She could lead a war, and had united an army of species, but Shepard broke down writing a simple love letter. Her brain was a mess of feelings, of thoughts and fears she wished to share with him. She just didn't know how.

Shepard jumped, stated by an unexpected been from her omni tool. She grumbled. Who the hell had a task for her so late at night? She opened the message, and her heart skipped a beat and then raced with excitement when her eyes saw who wrote it…

"Siha,

I know it has been a long time since I last contacted you, and I apologize for that. I didn't mean to worry you, my love. My new health care regime required all my attention for a time, but I'm fine for now. So I used the time left this evening to write to you, because I was not able to wait any longer. Hopefully my message is not going to wake you up.

I've heard about the problems with the salarians and the krogans. I've also heard about what happened to Mordin. Are you all right? He was always such a good friend. Seeing him die must have been painful for you. I wish that I could be there for you, to help make it a little easier, though I am unfortunately unable to be at your side.

Please know that my thoughts are always with you, even if my body is far away. I'm proud of you, my beloved Siha. It is an honor for me to call you my friend, my love, my world. You have achieved more than anyone else. If anyone can defeat the Reapers, it is you, Shepard. I know you will. You have the strength to….what do humans say? "To move mountains?" Anyway I wished, that I could talk to you directly, I really wished that you would be here with me, but I know, that your mission is more important than anything else, more important than my own wishes.

Siha, knowing you was the best thing that could have happened to me. After Irikah's death, I felt I was undeserving of companionship. It was my punishment for failing her. I deserved no less. I was frozen inside, but then we met. Your warmth and strength woke me up. That you love me is… unbelievable. It was a pleasure to spend those months at your side. Watching you fight was quite… inspirational.

Hopefully Arashu will shine the dark path which lies before you, my Siha. Please remember that I will always wait for your return, and that I will always love you.

I wish to see you again. There is so much left unspoken.

Thane."

A tear dropped out of her eye and fell onto the pad. Like always, Thane seemed to know what she needed and gave it to her.

A loving smile appeared on her lips. Suddenly everything seemed much easier. Shepard clicked reply and just wrote: "Thane, thank you, for everything. I will always love you." He replied immediately, surprised by her words. Shepard just smiled and looked at the stars.

She was going to save that man, even if she had to freeze hell over to do it.


End file.
